Changing Perspective
One Simple Change Makes All the Difference
by Vicki Miller
Recently my husband and I sold our home in town and relocated to the country. The timing of selling our house and
turning over the keys to the new owner was such that we ended up with just one week to pack and move out.
Although we were thrilled to have a quick closing date, you can imagine what a challenge this was!
Being a pretty organized person, I had a three page list of things that had to get done in order to accomplish
the move on time. As I worked the list, saying to myself: "We have to get this done now!", I could feel the panic
set in. As the pressure mounted, I became more and more tense and started snapping at my husband. Luckily
I remembered reading a newsletter by Jon Gordon where he mentioned changing two simple words to beat negativity.
I dug out Jon's newsletter and here's what he had to say:
"Replace 'have to' with 'get to'. This simple word swap can change your mind-set and your approach to work and life.
It turns a complaining voice to an appreciative voice, and acknowledges that life is a gift - not an obligation.
So often we grudgingly say things like "I have to go to this meeting," "I have to meet with this client," or
"I have to sell houses in this market." In reality, it's not about what we have to do."
So I took Jon's advice and immediately changed my perspective. Instead of viewing my three page list as things
I had to get done, I switched to thinking of each item as something that I was very fortunate to be able to do.
It made all the difference! I felt truly blessed to live in such an environment where I could easily pick up the
phone or use a computer to notify the right people about our move. Instead of 'having to' pack, I was grateful
to own items that 'I was 'getting to' pack. Instead of 'having to' arrange for our mail to be forwarded or our
utilities changed, I was grateful for the services and the ease of making changes over the internet.
As a result, the tension I was causing evaporated and the move progressed smoothly.
Fourteen years ago, the American Journal of Cardiology published a study stating that individuals
who focused on being grateful rather than on not being angry were found to positively impact a variety of
important physiological functions such as improved heart, pulse, and respiration rates. By making this one small
change in my choice of words, I was able to eliminate the self-induced stress I was creating - much better
for my heart and everyone around me!
Just as I coached myself on the move and on writing this newsletter as something 'I get to do' , the next
time you catch yourself using the words 'I have to', replace them with "I get to" and see what happens to your attitude!
From a new perspective,
Vicki Miller, CUCG, PCC
Changing Perspective
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